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Literature for borderline personality disorder


"I have learned that when sadness comes to visit me, all I can do is say" I see you. " I spend some time with it, get up, and say goodbye.
I don't push it away, I own it.
And because I own it, I let it go. "

Carolina Zacaria

Yay - my book is here. What's it about?

The main characters are:

  • Elise - She keeps getting sucked into her emotional world, isolating herself in her dark holes and is at a loss.

  • The wise tree - Elise discusses with him what she should do. How should she deal with it?

  • Frank (in English, like [Frank]): Elise confronts one part of herself and meets another.

  • Love.


This humorous trio helps Elise look at a buried, sad part of herself and change the way she sees it. You can read more about the book in my blog post: Borderline Book!

Yay - my book is here. What's it about?

The main characters are:

  • Elise - She keeps getting sucked into her emotional world, isolating herself in her dark holes and is at a loss.

  • The wise tree - Elise discusses with him what she should do. How should she deal with it?

  • Frank (in English, like [Frank]): Elise confronts one part of herself and meets another.

  • Love.


This humorous trio helps Elise look at a buried, sad part of herself and change the way she sees it. You can read more about the book in my blog post: Borderline Book!

Which books helped me deal better with borderline


I read a lot, always. For me, books have something magical about them. Often times, when I felt bad, I would take a book and immerse myself in this world, flying away from my aching body and mind. I flew over seas and forests, was a detectives and beautiful women who found their husbands.


I lived through my novels and learned from the protagonists. For me, books were certainly an important saving part . Even today it is the best thing for me to read line by line with coffee in rainy weather and feel how my body relaxes and surrenders to the magic of words.


In my recommendations I will introduce you to those books that were particularly helpful to me. I do mention  not just borderline / trauma / eating disorders related literature , but also novels that moved me. The suggestions are partly in English because I read a lot in English - I hope this is not an obstacle for you. To all of you who don't like to read - a lot of it is also available as an audio book or podcast with the authors!

Books on borderline personality disorder


Books on addictions, eating disorders, trauma


"Healing" novels for wounded souls:


Borderline Personality Disorder: Explanations, Help


I hate you, don't leave me: Jerold J. Kreisman

The standard work shows the latest research results and therapeutic approaches . The author Jerold J. Kreisman is a psychiatrist and a worldwide expert on borderline personality disorders. He describes the causes, medication, explains well the black and white thinking and feeling of people with borderline personality disorder. He writes in detail and easy to understand.

I recognized myself in a lot. I nearly devoured the book as I had so many explanations about why I feel what I feel. Why I act, how I act. Everything is clearly explained with very good case studies !

Ich hasse dich, verlass mich nicht, Jerold J. Kreisman

Advisor for borderline disorder: information for those affected and their relatives. Martin Bohus and Markus Reicherzer

3% experience long borderline symptoms at one point in their life: emotional instability, impulsivity, suicidal ideation, and self-harm. This includes difficulties in interpersonal relationships and a great fear of leaving. In the guidebook, the author explains the origins, characteristics and mainly deals with the form of therapy DBT , as this is very successful with borderline.


I was particularly helped by the tips on dealing with self-harm and suicidal crises .

Ratgeber Borderline-Störung: Informationen für Betroffene und Angehörige, Martin Bohus und Markus Reicherzer

Extreme of borderline disorder: Understanding and coping better for those affected and their relatives. Marie Isatolo 

This guide explains everything about personality disorder. It helps to understand the clinical picture, to understand what influence it has on the lives of those affected . Relatives and caregivers are also affected by the dimensions - for them, life with people with borderlines is challenging.

The book is also aimed more at relatives, because as a victim I already knew a lot. I gave it to very close people who wanted to understand me better . Specifically, it is about how it affects caregivers and how you set yourself apart. But there were also a lot of exercises for myself, well and simply explained. 

Extreme der Borderlinestörung: Besser verstehen und bewältigen für Betroffene und Angehörige, Marie Isatolo 

Recognizing and understanding borderline: the guide to the correct handling of borderline personality disorder for those affected and their relatives. Svenja Hold

I love you! - I hate you! In her book, Svenja Hold describes the personality disorder, a life in extremes . It describes the differences to ADHD, narcissism and bipolar disorder. The book is also a good guide for friends and loved ones.

What I liked a lot is that the author gets it right to the point. There is no scientific talk shop in this book, everything is described in an understandable way .  I know many causes, behaviors and possible aids, but it helps me to be reminded again and again or there are new ones in the book that I did not know. 

Borderline erkennen und verstehen: Der Ratgeber zum richtigen Umgang mit der Borderline Persönlichkeitsstörung für Betroffene und Angehörige, Svenja Hold

Borderline: The Self-Help Book. Andreas Knuf, Christiane Tilly


All borderline sufferers can change a lot in their lives through self-help and thereby stabilize themselves. The book contains suggestions and recommendations for better coping with the problems with borderline personality disorder . The authors evaluated the experiences of numerous borderliners and awaken the potential for self-help.  

I am enthusiastic about this book: You quickly recognize yourself in the book and get helpful tips on calming down and helping yourself in major crises . That was an incredibly important step for me and the book was a great help!

Borderline: Das Selbsthilfebuch, Andreas Knuf, Christiane Tilly
Das Kind in dir muss Heimat finden: Stefanie Stahl

Trauma, eating disorders, addictions


The child in you has to find a home: Stefanie Stahl

I devoured everything from Stefanie Stahl and I think you could do that too :) My introductory book was this one. From the first page I was tied up. The author explains in a very logical way what is going on in us unconsciously . On the one hand we long for love and security, on the other hand there are still our experienced hurts.


Stefanie Stahl describes in the book the work with the "inner child" , which was very healing and effective for me. Let us give our inner child friendship and pay attention to the needs we allow ourselves to make relationships happier and more authentic. Especially for me, who often have difficulties with relationships, this book is essential.

Borderline and relationship, borderline love


Marie - When there is a storm in your heart ...


In his book Marie, Kaspar Hofmann tells of storms. Situation after situation, precisely, concretely, literally and from the very beginning, when everything was unencumbered, fresh and new, he tells of the painful end of their love.


He does not understand himself. Just as he doesn't understand Marie's feelings, her tantrums and that she can't even talk about the raging sea they were in just a moment ago. "Then I wouldn't be alone in this".


The book is cleverly, honestly and accurately written and may be a comfort to people on either side of a borderline relationship.

Borderline Liebe Marie

Borderline Mood Diary


People with borderline personality disorder suffer from severe mood swings. The diary helps to reflect on these and to work on them.

Mögest du glücklich sein, Laura Malina Seiler

May you be happy, Laura Malina Seiler

I first became aware of Laura Malina Seiler through her podcast, which I can also highly recommend. She talks about how we can leave old trauma and pain behind and live the life we deserve. She interviews a lot of interesting personalities.


In this book she writes about how we can dissolve old blockages and heal pain and fear . In it you will find a lot of wisdom and exercises that will support you on this path. For me, many of the inputs were touching and groundbreaking. 

Verletzlichkeit macht stark, Brene Brown

Vulnerability makes you strong, Brene Brown

This woman is the MADNESS! I learned so much about myself from her. Brene Brown conducts research on shame (a big topic in the healing process for people with borderline personality disorder) and empathy .


In her book she writes about how dangerous vulnerability seems to people and how everything can be done to prevent them from noticing it. The author shows how important vulnerability is in order to be able to feel love, joy, creativity and belonging.


When we step behind our armor, we find a deep strength and great courage that actually lets us live life. I also devour and hear everything from her - absolute recommendation for you!

Essanfälle adé: Vom emotionalen Essen zum persönlichen Wohlfühlgewicht: Olivia Wollinger

Goodbye binge eating: From emotional eating to personal wellbeing weight: Olivia Wollinger

This book was a little game changer for me with my eating disorder. The author had an eating disorder herself and writes about it openly and honestly.


It describes what goes on in us when we have binge eating and how we can deal with it. Often we are very harsh and derogatory (we borderliners are also self-defeating and despising) towards each other. Olivia Wollinger teaches careful handling of our emotions and that food is not our enemy but our friend.


It shows how we recognize what food we need and how we set realistic goals. I read the book several times in order to burn the inputs into my brain again and again. I warmly recommend the book to you!

Weiblicher Narzissmus:  Bärbel Wardetzki

Female Narcissism:  Bärbel Wardetzki

This book contains a lot of "aha effects" . The author writes about the desperate search for oneself. We suffer greatly from inferiority complexes and try to cover them up with grandiosity.


Behind ours  We find an emptiness and despair in self-made masks, which we compensate with food. How difficult it is to maintain these walls and how damaging at the same time is simply explained.


But above all, Bärbel Wardetzki gives signposts in order to be able to free ourselves from self-doubts. Spoiler: After reading the fairy tale Cinderella you will never see it as a mere children's fairy tale :)

​Building a life worth living: Marsha Linehan

Building a life worth living: Marsha Linehan

This book is my Bible and is on my table across from my bed for inspiration. Every time I see it, it gives me that "we can do it" feeling on the one hand and this deep gratitude for Marsha Linehan on the other.


She was borderline herself and a hopeless case in psychiatry. In a lucid moment, she vowed to get herself out of this hell in order to get others out. She developed the dialectical-behavioral therapy , which meanwhile is and is the saving branch for many borderline sufferers.


In her visit she describes her life, her experiences, her wisdom . I have marked almost the whole book in yellow because every sentence for me is full of love and wisdom. This woman is "one of us" - a woman full of courage and strength and I can hardly put into words how touching and groundbreaking her book is for me!


Read it Read it! For real! By the way, you can also get workbooks for DBT from her  - they are also helpful!

Buddha & The Broderline: Kiera van Gelder

Buddha & The Broderline: Kiera van Gelder

It was through this book that I found Marsha Linehan. It was considered a standard work for borderline personalities and was the first or one of the first to address this disease in this way.


The author is concerned and describes her life with borderline , her struggles, her falling, the hopelessness. She also tried a lot and found support in Zen Buddhism (like Marsha Linehan).


The book showed me myself very closely, which was not always easy when reading. But I also received a lot of facts that I didn't know. For example, that in America, therapy for borderline patients was not financially supported because the suicide rate was so high. According to the motto: We don't have to promote that, they'll die anyway. I find that shocking.


It describes very well how little knowledge and powerlessness there was about borderlines. That's why Marhsa Linehan is needed, this author is needed, you and me. We have to help each other to help others get out of this hell!

Rational Recovery: Jack Trimpey

Rational Recovery: Jack Trimpey

This book is insane. I remember sticking to the pages and reading the lines with curiosity and fear of myself on the one hand. The author describes exactly what kind of monster addiction is and how it manipulates us .


"You feel great today? Let's celebrate with xy (addictive behavior)." "You are feeling bad? I know what will help you now: xy." I was able to recognize what was previously unconscious and to me as an addiction and listen to her talk to me. That was scary!


It helped me a lot on the way to recovery and can be used for any addictive behavior, even when it comes to alcohol addiction. Buy this and read it if you have addiction problems!

Healing literature for injured, lonely pieces of gold

Right, gold pieces. These books are a fraction of those wonderful books that gave me a glimpse of light again in dark hours.

Bao, der weise Panda und das Geheimnis der Gelassenheit: Aljoscha Long

Bao, the wise panda and the secret of serenity: Aljoscha Long

The panda Bao is disappointed in the world and himself. He sets off and seeks happiness and inner peace . On this healing and magical journey he learns so much wisdom in a loving way that your heart becomes warm.


You will find love, hope and security for this moment. In addition, you will learn a lot about yourself, about yourself and ways of seeing things as well as exercises for more serenity.

Das Lavendelzimmer, Nina George
Briefe an Sam: Daniel Gottlieb

The lavender room, Nina George

This. A book. Is. Magical. Nina George takes us on the journey of the bookseller Jean Perdu. He owns the literary library and sees books as remedies .


In his private life, he has turned away from any form of emotion as he experienced a very deep injury a long time ago. As it is to come, everything changes for the bookseller and he embarks on the adventure that will lead him back to his pain and, above all, to himself . This book is my blanket and my pillow, it warms me and I love it - books are really medicine!

Herzenhören, Sean Sendker

Hear the heart, Sean Sendker

Another book that not only has a place in my bookcase but also in my heart .


It's about a boy who is blind and a girl with crippled legs. The boy carries the girl and she guides him, creating a deep friendship and love.

Fate separates the two. The deep connection is never lost, although they don't hear from each other. This love story is the saddest, deepest and most beautiful that yours will read . And it shows me that real things aren't always happy.


Letters to Sam: Daniel Gottlieb

An incredibly touching book: Daniel Gottlieb writes letters to his autistic grandson . He doesn't know if he has enough time to tell him things himself.  

In every single letter he treats an important topic in life with such love and sensitivity. He explains what is important and what matters . Daniel Gottlieb sits in a wheelchair and also writes about the feeling of being different and how you can deal with it .


The book touched me deeply and taught me so much. I wish Daniel Gottlieb was my grandfather, I would just listen to him.

Dein Hindernis ist dein Weg, Ryan Holiday

Your obstacle is your way, Ryan Holiday

How do we deal with problems? At first we feel helpless, scared or angry. In the book the author writes about how great stoics like Edison, Roosevelt, Steve Jobs etc. deal with problems.


Self-control is a big issue, which has always been very important to me. This book is one of the few "life guides", if you want to call it that, that helps and impresses. It shows that problems are opportunities. And how important the attitude is!

Important note about us brave survivors:

This sentence is doing something in me right now, I would like to explain that to you. My path with borderline personality disorder has been and is difficult. I screamed in pain and despair because I thought I was going to tear apart. I prayed that God would finally let me die and I didn't want to open the eyes that would have confirmed me - I'm still alive.


I howled and sobbed, my body trembling with hopelessness and despondency . Tired of fighting, exhausted from falling. Sometimes everything is black, dark and dull. And then there are small cracks of light.


It is the look into another pair of eyes that shows me: I will stay . It's the hand on my hand that tells you  I am there It's finally a hug that I never gave in before because I hated myself so much. It's a look in the mirror: I'm okay .


And these moments feel like gold dust on my face. For this short time it fills my whole body with a warmth and security that keeps me alive . And these moments, which are like a ray of light, are known to very few. We do, because we experience everything very intensely. Today look for these experiences and multiply them.


And at some point the beam of light becomes a door that slowly opens. I could do more  Gain confidence in life and have the courage to step outside this door. I noticed that the sun doesn't burn me, it gives me warmth.

Only those who learn to move the light can control the shadow.

(Gustav Meyrink)

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